Black Friday

On this solemn day we mourn the passing of civility and restraint in American consumer behavior.

There are some signs, though, that we may be on the cusp of a more temperate age.

Happy Thanksgiving!

On this day we celebrate the coming together of imperialistic religious zealots and indigenous peoples, and how that worked out nicely for everyone.

We also celebrate everyone's hard work in the fields during this past growing season, and give thanks for the bountiful harvest that we have all labored so tirelessly to produce.

Finally, we rejoice in the successful staging of a massive performed advertisement for a lucrative corporation.

God bless us.

Inaugural Address

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

I think Lincoln would have been proud that I quoted his second inaugural address as the opening salvo in my long-anticipated debut in the blogosphere. As he provided the leadership that preserved our national unity through a bloody civil war, I hope to bring coherence and intelligibility to the meaningless cacophony of our nation's blogs.  Only then will we achieve that "just and lasting peace" that Lincoln so dearly sought.

The absolute profundity of this event is best expressed in verse:

Jesus saved our souls, Lincoln saved our nation

Blogs proliferated, spoiling all creation.

"Who should we believe?" asked our nation's youth

The only true blog: Advanced Reading Group.

Amen.